Merry Merry

To all four of my loyal readers, I would like to wish you and your families the very best and happiest holiday of your choice!

Christmas Message

Instead of trying to wrack my poor, Christmas addled brain for something funny, or even coherent, I've decided to use a bit of another blog that I read every day as a place to start. In the spirit of Christmas, I have joined Knitters Without Borders, which supports Doctors Without Borders, an organization I'm sure everyone has heard of. If you're interested in what this is all about, you will find a link on the left side of this page, over by Alex's blog link.

Anyway, it occured to me that no matter how stressed I get about paying my bills or making sure the pantry is full or finding the right Christmas present for someone when I already have three for the same person, at least I'm healthy and have a roof over my head. I know that sounds trite, but it's really true. I'm not going to go without food today. Hell, I'm not even going to go without an enormous coffee today. When I leave my job this evening, which all things considered, I'm lucky to have, I will get into my thirteen year old Honda and be thankful that it starts once more and be glad that I don't have to walk fourteen miles to work, or even take a bus. When I get home, I will be greeted by my husband who I love more than anything and I will be grateful that he is there waiting for me. I will also be greeted by the Insufferable Horror, but I'm even grateful for his crabby, furry, yowling presence. It might not be a gourmet meal, but we will be fed tonight. I might have to sit under an afghan on the couch, but I won't be looking for shelter against the cold. I might be annoyed at the interruption of a ringing telephone, but I am glad I have friends and family who care about me. All of this has led me to www.yarnharlot.com. In the past week or so, this group of knitters has raised and donated close to $80,000.00 to Doctors Without Borders. $80,000.00, people. From knitters. That's a lot of money. Really. It doesn't matter how much you give or how little. It doesn't matter who you give it to as long as it's something that touches your heart, or feels important to you. Don't ever think that what you can afford isn't enough. It could be more than someone else has, and it could be the dollar that actually makes a difference.

Disaster of the Day

I've gone so long without a disaster that it almost seemed that my luck had changed. Silly girl. I found out this evening that absolutely no one I know has a key to my house. I also found out that the glass in the back door window is apparently tempered, shatter-proof, and hysteria proof. Also, the lock, which I assumed by looking at it was pretty flimsy, is not in fact flimsy at all. Oh, and my husband can sleep through anything. Fire alarms, sonic booms, telephones ringing, frantic pounding, etc. etc. I locked myself out on the back porch. Why was I out there at ten o' clock at night? Is that really important? I was locked out, and that's all you need to know. One of the guys next door kindly offered his Bullmoose Rewards card to the cause, and said I could keep it. Good thing, since it's in pieces now. I need to learn how to break and enter more effectively. I'll put that on my list of things to do before I'm forty. The last time I was locked out of my house, I was four years old and even though my parents were home and would have let me in if I had waited two seconds, I decided to throw a rock through the window. It smashed through the window just as my father walked onto the porch to let me in. It made a great cat door for Chessy. Since that was so successful, I thought I'd try it again. I went out to the yard and got a piece of a broken cinder block and did my best to smash that window. I got sparks off that rock, but no broken glass. It's probably just as well. I managed to cut my knuckle even without any broken glass. After calling repeatedly for about twenty minutes, my loving husband finally heard the phone and got up to answer it. Tomorrow I'm going to the hardware store to have a dozen spare keys made. I will sleep well tonight, knowing that my home is practically invasion proof!

Cyber-Stalking Proves Useful

Even though we are both obviously busy and important people, Alex and I still seem to find the time to wander around the Internet and find things to amuse ourselves. In a fit of cyber-stalking, Alex learned where I work and with who, what my mother-in-law's email address is, and the fact that I am a Notary Public. I found out about his nefarious activities with the Rotary Club, and the fact that there is a business networking website letting the world know that he can provide services for "Radio spot production, jungles, voice-overs, TV animation, copywriting, rich media for the web." Yep, bet you didn't know that about Alex. He can fill all your jungle needs. The Internet is a beautiful, beautiful place.
I also noticed a newspaper quote about pigs, which you probably already know about if you're here. But the bottom line here is, cyber-stalking is amusing and it actually has a purpose. It got you poor, innocent link clickers to my site, reading my nonsense. Thanks, Jungle Boy!

Wedding Ring

My husband tried to lose his wedding ring this weekend. This happens to people fairly often, I'm sure, but it's an awful feeling. We were both trying to be brave and confident that it would turn up, but we weren't fooling anyone, I don't think. Neither of us take them off very often, so it was a mystery as to where it might have gone. Our place is old, and has all the little nooks and crannies you think are charming until you're on your hands and knees with a flashlight, peering at one hundred years worth of dirt and detritus under the radiators. All sorts of irrational thoughts went through my head. Are we still married? Did he lose it on purpose? Was it his subconscious way of throwing me out as well? I felt guilty about having these thoughts, and somewhat confused as well. How can a symbol like that come to mean so much? How would we activate our powers without our rings?

The story does have a happy ending, though. At first light the next morning, we went outside, and by some miracle we found it. There it was, lying on the lawn, right on top of a pile of dirt and leaves. No searching, no pawing through the brush. It was just there, waiting for us to find it. Maybe we had the powers all along, and really didn't need the rings. I'm glad to have it back, though, more than I can say.

"Wonder Twin powers, activate!"

Link, Link, Who's Got The Link?

Alex wants to add a link to me from his blog page. I'm not sure why. Maybe it makes him feel more important to have lots of links, like he has lots of friends. I'm probably going to let him, with a disclaimer or two. This page is not intended to be smart or informative. I'm not here to teach anyone anything. It is solely for my personal use as a place to complain. No one wants to listen to me complain anymore, so this seemed like a good idea. His blog, on the other hand, is smart and informative AND is used as a place to complain. Brilliant!

Halloween Horrors

I used to love dressing up as a kid, but somewhere along the line it just became a pain in the ass. I'm dressed up today, though, here at work. I guess you could say I'm a gypsy of some sort. My biggest problems are that Bernard, my life size skull, keeps rolling off the counter, and the chicken foot in my hair is itchy. I don't know which is worse - my lame costume, or the fact that I have a realistic skull hanging around the house.

The Fire Alarm Works

Since we moved, there has been a lack of major disasters to write about. I'm sure that will all even out some time. It's been nice. It's very quiet, at least in comparison to the previous place. Part of it is probably because we're sleeping on the top floor, so there are no windows on the sides, only the ends. So the party boys next door haven't really been bothering us. I'm knocking on every piece of wood near me, right now. We did have a little bit of an incident the other night. Somewhere around eleven the fire alarm started shrieking. Woke us right up, let me tell you! Turns out it was because the back up battery was running out. I guess that's why the little green light had been flashing for two weeks. Anyway, the ceilings are so high that our step ladder wouldn't reach. So, half asleep and confused, we climbed up onto the bureau to get it down. Probably not the smartest thing, but we do silly things when we're asleep.