The Comfort of Common Sense

I may have to revert back to my old practice of not reading the news. The headlines add up and overwhelm me these days, and while I remind myself that the media sensationalizes, the basic facts of poverty, disaster and political foolishness remain. Obsessive red tape and policy shroud our lives to such a degree that we stop functioning like human(itarian) beings. I see this increasingly at my workplace, as well as in the operations of government, where humans in crisis take place below political posturing and ego.

I had an instance today that sent me home for lunch in tears of frustration. How could something so simple be made to be so complicated? There are days when I can feel a chain of frustration, weariness and anger being forged one link at a time. Each link is a discomfited employee, and today felt heavy with the weight of all of them. Call it an administration out of touch with employees, an organization struggling to modernize practices... as much as the employees would like to sort things out in a reasonable way, we end up being a terrible burden to each other as we manage the daily confusion and fallout from administrative decisions. Days like this make a lunch break a time of readjustment.

I go home for lunch when I can, and I always have a book waiting for me, if not a sunny stoop and some good leftovers. Today I continued the Essays of E.B. White. White is the author of Charlotte's Web, Stuart Little, The Trumpeter Swan, not to mention the revisionist of The Elements of Style (Strunk & White), and a superb essayist. The book of essays I'm reading range from the 50's to the 70's. While I may take a hiatus from the news, I'm certainly don't want to bury my head in the sand. I'd rather spend my time reading the well voiced, reasonable and quiet outrage of White as he writes about exactly the issues we struggle with fifty years later. Polluted soil and polluted food, the death of passenger trains, disarmament, the ways of politicians... White comforts me with common sense, even as he writes about his prescient frustrations with the world. His reflections are sometimes laments, sometimes acceptance, often nostalgic, always wry - a combination that soothes my wounded spirit, makes me feel a sense of companionship in this world. I find myself thinking of his gift with words throughout the day, and it braces me. Like a good friend who sympathizes without sacrificing honesty, he does not patronize, is not over familiar, and shares enough of himself to establish trust and empathy.

Charlotte's Web was always my favorite book as a child, and I am thrilled to have rediscovered this author that so engaged me so many years ago. Once this book of essays is read, I have two more like it on my shelf... and I certainly won't hesitate to add his children's books to my reading list to further my free therapy. His contexts are just as captivating as his subjects, fictional or otherwise. You read it in his sketches of New York City, and the animal doings on his farm in Maine. As much as White wonders about the state of things, he is also full of wonderment.

Is That A Light I See?

Back at the beginning of February I gave my notice here at the bank. I was surprised to learn that management did not in fact want me to leave, and I was told that something else would be available for me. I left that meeting feeling pretty damned good about things.

Fast forward about a month and a half. I had applied for the position that everyone thought I should get, as the Operations Department Assistant Manager. In the end, I didn't get it. The person who did get it is far more qualified in the operations world, even if she doesn't have the management experience that I do. To be totally honest, this didn't break my heart. If I never "manage" anyone other than myself and Mark again, I'll be perfectly happy.

So, my next step was to apply for the position that was left vacant by the person who got the management job (Is this too confusing? Am I babbling like a crazy person yet?). Her position was very similar to what I did at the last bank I worked for, dealing primarily with overdrafts and the ATM/debit card world. I have not wanted a job quite possibly ever as much as I wanted this one.

The interview went pretty well in my opinion, even though I am notoriously hard on myself about things like that. There wasn't anything she could throw at me that I hadn't already had experience with. I convinced myself that obviously there was no one better suited to or qualified for this job.

I started to feel a little less hopeful after finding out that there were seven other internal candidates for this position. Surely one of them would have seniority, or would deserve it more, or would be sleeping with someone's brother. Surely one of them will get it and not me.

After waiting in agony for another week I got a phone call today. Guess what? I'M THE NEW OVERDRAFT AND ATM/DEBIT CARD PROGRAM COORDINATOR!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!! (Wild dancing around the room ensues.)!!!! Break out the crazy hats and noise makers (and maybe a little wine) because I'm absolutely crazy out of my mind thrilled about this!

This means that I can finally get out of face-to-face customer service. This means that I never have to sit trapped in my office while someone who smells like the fishing docks on Rye Harbor rambles on for an hour about where their father used to bank back in the days before computers. This means that I never have to have a crazy bicycle-helmet wearing person try to use a photocopy of him with Bill Richardson as a valid "photo" ID (hey, if a possible future president knows who he is, who am I to question him?).

You wanna know what else this means? It means I get to move to another office. And you wanna know what that means? It means that I get to walk to work.High gas prices be damned! I will be walking to work.