Merry Merry

To all four of my loyal readers, I would like to wish you and your families the very best and happiest holiday of your choice!

Christmas Message

Instead of trying to wrack my poor, Christmas addled brain for something funny, or even coherent, I've decided to use a bit of another blog that I read every day as a place to start. In the spirit of Christmas, I have joined Knitters Without Borders, which supports Doctors Without Borders, an organization I'm sure everyone has heard of. If you're interested in what this is all about, you will find a link on the left side of this page, over by Alex's blog link.

Anyway, it occured to me that no matter how stressed I get about paying my bills or making sure the pantry is full or finding the right Christmas present for someone when I already have three for the same person, at least I'm healthy and have a roof over my head. I know that sounds trite, but it's really true. I'm not going to go without food today. Hell, I'm not even going to go without an enormous coffee today. When I leave my job this evening, which all things considered, I'm lucky to have, I will get into my thirteen year old Honda and be thankful that it starts once more and be glad that I don't have to walk fourteen miles to work, or even take a bus. When I get home, I will be greeted by my husband who I love more than anything and I will be grateful that he is there waiting for me. I will also be greeted by the Insufferable Horror, but I'm even grateful for his crabby, furry, yowling presence. It might not be a gourmet meal, but we will be fed tonight. I might have to sit under an afghan on the couch, but I won't be looking for shelter against the cold. I might be annoyed at the interruption of a ringing telephone, but I am glad I have friends and family who care about me. All of this has led me to www.yarnharlot.com. In the past week or so, this group of knitters has raised and donated close to $80,000.00 to Doctors Without Borders. $80,000.00, people. From knitters. That's a lot of money. Really. It doesn't matter how much you give or how little. It doesn't matter who you give it to as long as it's something that touches your heart, or feels important to you. Don't ever think that what you can afford isn't enough. It could be more than someone else has, and it could be the dollar that actually makes a difference.

Disaster of the Day

I've gone so long without a disaster that it almost seemed that my luck had changed. Silly girl. I found out this evening that absolutely no one I know has a key to my house. I also found out that the glass in the back door window is apparently tempered, shatter-proof, and hysteria proof. Also, the lock, which I assumed by looking at it was pretty flimsy, is not in fact flimsy at all. Oh, and my husband can sleep through anything. Fire alarms, sonic booms, telephones ringing, frantic pounding, etc. etc. I locked myself out on the back porch. Why was I out there at ten o' clock at night? Is that really important? I was locked out, and that's all you need to know. One of the guys next door kindly offered his Bullmoose Rewards card to the cause, and said I could keep it. Good thing, since it's in pieces now. I need to learn how to break and enter more effectively. I'll put that on my list of things to do before I'm forty. The last time I was locked out of my house, I was four years old and even though my parents were home and would have let me in if I had waited two seconds, I decided to throw a rock through the window. It smashed through the window just as my father walked onto the porch to let me in. It made a great cat door for Chessy. Since that was so successful, I thought I'd try it again. I went out to the yard and got a piece of a broken cinder block and did my best to smash that window. I got sparks off that rock, but no broken glass. It's probably just as well. I managed to cut my knuckle even without any broken glass. After calling repeatedly for about twenty minutes, my loving husband finally heard the phone and got up to answer it. Tomorrow I'm going to the hardware store to have a dozen spare keys made. I will sleep well tonight, knowing that my home is practically invasion proof!

Cyber-Stalking Proves Useful

Even though we are both obviously busy and important people, Alex and I still seem to find the time to wander around the Internet and find things to amuse ourselves. In a fit of cyber-stalking, Alex learned where I work and with who, what my mother-in-law's email address is, and the fact that I am a Notary Public. I found out about his nefarious activities with the Rotary Club, and the fact that there is a business networking website letting the world know that he can provide services for "Radio spot production, jungles, voice-overs, TV animation, copywriting, rich media for the web." Yep, bet you didn't know that about Alex. He can fill all your jungle needs. The Internet is a beautiful, beautiful place.
I also noticed a newspaper quote about pigs, which you probably already know about if you're here. But the bottom line here is, cyber-stalking is amusing and it actually has a purpose. It got you poor, innocent link clickers to my site, reading my nonsense. Thanks, Jungle Boy!

Wedding Ring

My husband tried to lose his wedding ring this weekend. This happens to people fairly often, I'm sure, but it's an awful feeling. We were both trying to be brave and confident that it would turn up, but we weren't fooling anyone, I don't think. Neither of us take them off very often, so it was a mystery as to where it might have gone. Our place is old, and has all the little nooks and crannies you think are charming until you're on your hands and knees with a flashlight, peering at one hundred years worth of dirt and detritus under the radiators. All sorts of irrational thoughts went through my head. Are we still married? Did he lose it on purpose? Was it his subconscious way of throwing me out as well? I felt guilty about having these thoughts, and somewhat confused as well. How can a symbol like that come to mean so much? How would we activate our powers without our rings?

The story does have a happy ending, though. At first light the next morning, we went outside, and by some miracle we found it. There it was, lying on the lawn, right on top of a pile of dirt and leaves. No searching, no pawing through the brush. It was just there, waiting for us to find it. Maybe we had the powers all along, and really didn't need the rings. I'm glad to have it back, though, more than I can say.

"Wonder Twin powers, activate!"

Link, Link, Who's Got The Link?

Alex wants to add a link to me from his blog page. I'm not sure why. Maybe it makes him feel more important to have lots of links, like he has lots of friends. I'm probably going to let him, with a disclaimer or two. This page is not intended to be smart or informative. I'm not here to teach anyone anything. It is solely for my personal use as a place to complain. No one wants to listen to me complain anymore, so this seemed like a good idea. His blog, on the other hand, is smart and informative AND is used as a place to complain. Brilliant!

Halloween Horrors

I used to love dressing up as a kid, but somewhere along the line it just became a pain in the ass. I'm dressed up today, though, here at work. I guess you could say I'm a gypsy of some sort. My biggest problems are that Bernard, my life size skull, keeps rolling off the counter, and the chicken foot in my hair is itchy. I don't know which is worse - my lame costume, or the fact that I have a realistic skull hanging around the house.

The Fire Alarm Works

Since we moved, there has been a lack of major disasters to write about. I'm sure that will all even out some time. It's been nice. It's very quiet, at least in comparison to the previous place. Part of it is probably because we're sleeping on the top floor, so there are no windows on the sides, only the ends. So the party boys next door haven't really been bothering us. I'm knocking on every piece of wood near me, right now. We did have a little bit of an incident the other night. Somewhere around eleven the fire alarm started shrieking. Woke us right up, let me tell you! Turns out it was because the back up battery was running out. I guess that's why the little green light had been flashing for two weeks. Anyway, the ceilings are so high that our step ladder wouldn't reach. So, half asleep and confused, we climbed up onto the bureau to get it down. Probably not the smartest thing, but we do silly things when we're asleep.

We've Moved

I'm not saying every thing is properly placed. It isn't. Most things aren't out of boxes and those boxes are certainly not in the right rooms or anything, but everything we own is currently in one place. With us. Right there next to us. It kind of feels like camping right now. Oh, wait, everything except the couch. Didn't fit. Movers were great, and tried everything they could think of, but in the end they drove away with my couch, to put it in storage. At least it isn't in pieces. There's a nasty dent in the hallway, though. The Insufferable Horror appears to be over his "horrific incident of terror" involving the pet taxi, and is loving the place. He loves stairs of any kind. There is a landing at the top of the stairs to the second floor that looks down over the stairs. He likes to wait for us up there, peering over the edge. He gets nutty on the stairs. Rolling around with wild eyes and other strange behavior. It's much quieter here, so I think he feels safer. I know I do. Now if we can just find my shoes...

Disaster of the Day

On my way to work this morning, I stopped for coffee, like I often do. My car is not just a mode of transportation for me, it also transports an amazing array of crap. When I got into the car, I needed to place the coffee on the middle console so I could remove the two old cups from the cup holder. Part of my brain knew I was heading in the wrong direction, but it was early, and I ignored it. After removing the old cups, I didn't immediately put the new coffee in the holder. Instead, I took my purse off my lap and tried to put it on the seat next to me. Of course, the strap caught the new cup of coffee and sent it flying through the air, landing upside down on the floor, soaking my bag of books and knitting. I'm sure people in the parking lot wondered what the hell was going on when I shrieked at the top of my lungs and started flinging books and yarn around the car to get them out of the coffee. So I drove to work with the scent of coffee coming up from the steaming puddle on the floor, and no actual coffee to drink. I couldn't very well go back inside and tell them WHY I needed another coffee, could I?

We Signed the Lease

We handed a total stranger a check last night, and signed a lot of pieces of paper saying that we would agree to pay this stranger lots of money every month and we are assuming that they own the apartment we're going to try to move into next month. I say try, because I have serious doubts about our couch making it even halfway up the stairs. So, why did I give them money and agree to live there, possibly couch-less? I was tired. I am tired. I'm tired of looking. It's a nice place. It isn't perfect, but the hope is that it will be better than now. People have been getting furniture in there for years. Why shouldn't we be able to? Apparently you don't know me well. The most likely outcome will be that the couch will get stuck and it will have to be hacked out with an axe, eliminating the possibility of us selling it to someone with no stairs and big doors. Should I just sell it now?

Insufferable Horror

Today I have a rare Monday off from work. Of course, it's supposed to be 95 and humid, and we can only run one air conditioner in our sorry little apartment. If you have the AC on and the television at the same time, you'd better hope the fridge doesn't need to cycle on, because it makes the TV screen go black. Very disconcerting. So, it's either be cool or do laundry in sweltering conditions. My vote is to stay on the couch with my knitting and the AC. After all, you can't knit a wool sweater in July with out AC, and I have an obligation to the knitting, don't I? It's my first sweater attempt.

We went up to the lake yesterday for Mom's birthday. Perfect day for that - warm and sunny and the water was nice. We went a little later than usual to give the Massholes time to beat feet out of New Hampshire. We don't like strangers. Wait, we don't like most of the people we know either.

Speaking of which, the search for the perfect domicile for us is still underway. We're looking at one tonight that I know isn't going to be right. There's too much "community" going on there. "Common areas" give me hives. It has a common deck area which we would no doubt avoid like the plague, and only one washer/dryer for four units. Yeah, like that will work. The landlord lives there too, and says "oh, I just go up the street to the laundro-mat." Augh! The laundro-mat! A creepier place there never was! We have our own washer and dryer, and we're just looking for a nice, quiet place to hook them up and live quietly, keeping to ourselves. Is that wrong?

Oh, I was going to put a picture in of the Insufferable Horror, wasn't I? See how his eyes glow?

We Miss You, Kathryn

Does it seem that time passes far too quickly these days? There's never enough time.

M's grandmother died last week, and her memorial was on Monday. We will all miss her straight-forward, no-holds barred, outlook on life. Her honesty was something that is often missing in the cautious, PC world of today. I hope wherever she is, she has a good book to read, and company that isn't annoying the shit out of her.

Connecticut is no longer an option. M was notified the same day his grandmother died. Timing is everything.

Upstairs Girl was out in the back driveway entertaining us the other night. She had on a lovely black formal dress and brought her cd player with her. The music was a lovely screeching, moaning atrocity. She danced around in the driveway with two things similar to fans. They weren't completely fans, they were more like wings, with webbing between the slats. I can't even begin to do justice to the spectacle.

Flood Watch

I've been trying to learn to crochet for the past few days. Having been a knitter for years, I'm finding it really difficult to get the right hand positions with the hook and yarn. It feels backwards and awkward. I finally bought Debbie Stollers book The Happy Hooker, since I use her Stitch n' Bitch all the time, but other than picking up a few tips that I couldn't get anywhere else, I'm just not getting it. I wanted to learn so I can expand into some free-form knitting and crochet techniques, but it's really been a struggle. I think I've finally accepted the fact that I will be holding that hook wrong. If it comes out looking right, why should I worry? I just won't ever crochet in front of someone who knows what they're doing. Wouldn't want the crochet police to find out!

It's raining AGAIN here. Yet another flood watch. Our favorite drunken dive is still smelly from the last flood. Well, it was pretty smelly before, but it's different now.

Gourmet note for today - I have a nice pork loin waiting in the fridge when I get home. What a yummy dinner that will make on a crappy, cold, rainy night. I'm going to make that mustard sauce again I think...

Heating and Cooling Hell

So, what started out as a fairly normal day has rapidly descended in to Hell. The HVAC guy came out to my place of employment to "change our filters." He decided to clean something with a particularly noxious solvent, so people were fleeing the building to get away from it. We were told it was fine, it would go away, open a couple of windows and quit bothering them. (Point of interest - this building has floor to ceiling windows, but not a single one opens. The front door is the best we can do.) About half an hour later, there is a burning smell coming from the vents. After calling the HVAC people, we were told it was fine, it would go away, open a couple of windows and quit bothering them. Once the smells were finally gone, we closed the front door and quickly noticed that it was 87 degrees in here. There is no air conditioning. We call the HVAC bag of hammers again, and I guess he meant it when he wanted us to leave him alone, because it's been FIVE HOURS with no sign of him. Does this sound like someone trying to create job security for himself? Everything was fine before he came out. We didn't call him. He just showed up! Did he maybe break it to make more money from us? Is it a conspiracy? This happens with our copier repair guy all the time. Well, after he shows up this time (if he shows up), we'll be choosing a different HVAC idiot randomly from the phone book for NEXT time. In the meantime, my normally sweet and sunny disposition has been replaced by a sweaty, snarling, frizzy haired monster. K has been trying to enlighten me with some realization techniques, so here goes - "I am the possibility of freaking out at any provocation."

Pet Burial?

Another Memorial day weekend has gone by. Here it is, June 1st. We had a fairly uneventful weekend, visiting with each set of parents for a bit. The only excitement was provided by our charming neighbors upstairs. There was some strangeness going on in the backyard, which I'm far too nosy to have ignored. They had scraped back the mulch and were digging a hole about three feet deep. There was a suspicious black plastic garbage bag next to the hole. After the hole was filled in, and the extra dirt taken out was tossed over the fence, a lovely "rock garden" was displayed over the top, and a poem was read while everyone held hands in a circle. My first thought was a pet burial of some sort. When I asked our landlord about it, they had no idea what I was talking about, but they were pretty sure no one asked them if they could dig up the yard. Anyway, Upstairs Girl told them that it was just a rock garden, that they had dug a hole and filled it with rocks to "support" their creation, and that the whole reading in a circle thing had been them "blessing" the rocks. Apparently the landlord believes this crap. So, what was in the garbage bag? And did I mention the black cat with them on a leash?

Hopefully we will get some info on the possible job for M soon. Sure would like to move out of here...

Hello?

I'm not quite sure what I'm doing out here...

I must have dozens of blank books and journals that I have always fully intended to fill. They're still empty. I'm hoping that having this will encourage me to write down the things that I feel are important to me. Even when it's just a list of complaints. Believe me, there will be complaints. It's not about having other people read it or getting any feedback.

I live on the beautiful coast of New Hampshire, where I have lived off and on for over twenty years now. I love to cook, and I am trying to become better at it. I also love to knit, and I'm trying to get better at that too. For anyone else who knits, socks make me angry. You know what I mean.

Being from New England, I am of course a Red Sox fan. And yes, I was a fan way before they won the World Series. Not like some people I could name. I'm also devoted to the Boston Bruins, and I don't care what any of you have to say about that. We will dominate again some day. I hear they're looking for a GM. I don't hear my phone ringing, people! And I'm glad Joe Thornton and Johnny Damon were traded. Who needs them?

I currently live in an apartment with my significant other and the Insufferable Horror. I will post a picture when I can, and you will see what I mean. We will be moving soon (oh, please, God, let us move) as the tenants upstairs who shall forever remain nameless, are unspeakably impossible to live under. Note to tenants upstairs: Who the hell needs to wear clogs on hardwood floors at two in the morning? I'm really pleased that you no longer have a job, but really, are you doing it on purpose? Am I taking this too personally? Is your seven year old actually on drugs, or does he just sound like it? Does he ever stop running? When will you be getting him his own little pair of clogs?

So, obviously I will try and come back and add more as needed. I hope this works! HK